Depression is not just sadness and a person going through depression may not really look sad. Depression can look like a very happy person actually trying to hide the inner sadness. They may also look fit and healthy physically. They may be performing excellently at work and in the family duties and responsibilities. Depression is hidden. And we want to hide it because it is weak and vulnerable to experience this inner state of loneliness, hopelessness and feeling lost—where you cannot see a forward path for you and your life. This can be a dark period, and we were not raised to show our dark parts as a culture. We were raised to show good girls and boys, with lots of money, degrees, perfect marriage and kids and house, with no room for sadness, failure or any other way to live life. And this perfect image doesn’t build up in real life; depression comes into play.
My first experience of depression began in 2009 when I moved from Pune, India to London, UK to study my master’s degree. I was all of twenty-one years old and had never left Pune city. Living alone in a new city – homesickness, loneliness, and pressure to succeed in my study weighed heavily on me. I realized several years later that this was a depressive period of my life. I navigated this emotional landscape with little guidance. My nervous system learned that shutting down felt safer than hoping, and depression became a familiar, almost comforting, space. When I returned to India, with a degree and no job, with the recession in the UK, I felt more into this cycle of depression. I had failed. The plan was gone and life continued as is.
Fast forward to 2016 – I moved to New Zealand after getting married and my depression came back. The emotional tension of new relationships, financial stress, and repeated job rejections triggered hopeless spirals. Depression became a constant companion, a default setting for my nervous system. I longed for home and had no close friends nearby. My career in Forensic Science, once full of promise, now came to a halt. Despite applying for multiple positions at the Institute of Environmental Science and Research in Mount Albert, for several years, I received no callbacks or feedback. Each rejection felt personal, as if my existence was invisible, reinforcing the belief that I was not good enough.
Looking back, I see that depression was about more than career struggles. It was about feeling unseen and unheard, and the feeling of ‘Not being good enough’. Dreams quietly slipped through the cracks while I struggled to stay afloat. My nervous system had learned that stress was normal, and shutdown was safer than hope. It became my default mode.
Depression is defined as a mental health condition marked by persistent sadness, loss of interest, changes in sleep or appetite, low energy, difficulty concentrating, and many more such symptoms. It affects brain chemistry, mood regulation, and overall well-being (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Depression is a complex condition rooted in the biochemistry of the brain. While it often shows up emotionally as sadness, numbness, or hopelessness, beneath the surface, depression is actively reshaping how the brain and nervous system function.
Here’s how:
Understanding these biological shifts helps us see that depression isn’t a weakness or a character flaw, it’s a medical condition with real, measurable changes in brain chemistry. And just like any other health issue, it deserves compassion, support, and treatment.
A study published in November 2019, led by Karmel Choi at Harvard University, has analysed extensive genetic data and found strong evidence that physical activity can help reduce the risk of depression. Other research has also found that even if you’re already experiencing depression, being physically active can still be beneficial. “We saw a 26% decrease in the odds of becoming depressed for each major increase in objectively measured physical activity,” says Karmel Choi, a clinical and research fellow at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. “This increase in physical activity is what you might see on your activity tracker if you replaced 15 minutes of sitting with 15 minutes of running, or one hour of sitting with one hour of moderate activity like brisk walking.”
The research shows that replacing sedentary behaviour with 15 minutes of vigorous activity each day can reduce depression risk by roughly 26 per cent. “On average, doing more physical activity appears to protect against developing depression … and any activity appears to be better than none.” He recommends starting with any form of movement—remember, something is better than nothing. This is the choice to make every day, and day after day, be consistent in the exercise, until it becomes a habit.
We often think of exercise as a way to stay fit, lose weight, or build muscle but its impact goes far deeper. Regular physical activity is one of the most powerful tools we have for improving mental health and emotional well-being. Here’s how:
Whether it’s a brisk walk, a dance class, or a gym session, moving your body is one of the most effective ways to support your mind. It’s not just about looking good, it’s about feeling good, inside and out.
Society teaches us phrases like It’s fine or You’ll be okay. I was often told to smile instead of crying. Over time, anger, frustration, grief, and sadness settled deep in my body and mind, creating cycles of depression.
Healing began the moment I allowed myself to express emotions fully. I started therapy in January 2020, after years of depression. Therapy helped me uncover the roots of my depression, while spiritual work and meditation guided me to understand the meaning of success and the patterns in my relationships that contributed to it. These practices also helped me study and regulate my nervous system, and I discovered that my system was addicted to stress.
My sister also played a vital role. Even though we live in different countries, our video calls became a sacred space to release emotions. When I said I just wanted to cry, she didn’t offer advice or try to fix anything. She simply sat with me. That presence alone made me feel lighter, seen, and heard.
This became my own way of supporting others too, sitting with them in their emotions without offering solutions or advice. We repeated this ritual often. Hard times became opportunities to witness each other fully, creating space for emotional release and safety. This is what truly healed me: therapy, spiritual work, meditation, and the people who let me simply be myself, without judgment or expectation.
What you eat directly impacts mood and mental health. If you feel like you need to take anti-depressants, your doctor can help you guide. If you need to talk to someone about their experience, you can talk to me.
Some key nutrients and foods that support brain function and neurotransmitters include:
I have shared free resources which could be a good starting point – Free Resources
1) What is depression?
Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent sadness, low motivation, and changes in sleep, appetite, or mood.
2) Can exercise help depression?
Yes. Regular movement boosts mood, motivation, and brain health, even for those currently experiencing depression.
3) Which foods support mental health?
Magnesium, omega-3s, saffron, valerian root, vitamins D3, K2, B12, and dark chocolate support neurotransmitter function and mood regulation.
4) How can I express emotions safely?
Speak with a trusted friend, journal, or allow yourself to cry without judgment. Witnessing emotions helps release them.
5) When should I seek professional help?
Seek professional support if symptoms persist, worsen, affect daily life, or include thoughts of self-harm.
Let’s embark on this transformative journey together. Join me for a discovery session.